Unf*ck Your Sh*t
Your Website's a Hot Mess? Let’s Fix That.
You didn’t build your website to babysit error messages or fight off hackers at midnight. But here you are—searching for a hero with a keyboard.
Don’t panic. We’ve seen it all—and we’ve fixed it all.
Whether your site’s been hacked, broken by a rogue plugin, or just won’t load without a séance, we’re Your WP Guy. And we’re here to unf*ck it.
What Went Wrong?
It’s not just you. WordPress sites break. They get bloated, out-of-date, attacked, or just plain ignored.
Let’s be real: fixing this stuff is a full-time job—ours, not yours.
Common Digital Disasters
Why Trust Your WP Guy?
We’re not some nameless IT ticket queue. You get humans—real, clever, experienced ones—who know how to wrestle WordPress into submission.
We’ve helped everyone from first-time founders to major brands. Most of them came to us in a panic. All of them left with a working site and a sigh of relief.
What We Actually Do
Emergency
Fixes
First priority: get your site back online. No BS.
Malware
Removal
We clean it all up, lock it down, and secure the entry points.
Speed
Optimization
Because nobody sticks around for a 10-second load time.
Plugin & Theme
Repair
We get everything playing nicely together again.
Ongoing
Maintenance
Want to never worry about this again? We’ve got you.
The Unf*cking Process
2019-01-01
1. You Yell for Help
You reach out (maybe yelling, maybe crying—both are valid). We respond fast and get the ball rolling.
2020-01-01
2. We Assess the Damage
We run a full scan and pinpoint what’s broken, hacked, outdated, or just plain weird. Then we send you a clear action plan.
2021-01-01
3. We Fix What’s Broken
Our team gets to work immediately—repairing code, cleaning malware, restoring backups, and making your site behave again.
2021-01-01
4. We Lock It Down
Once your site’s healthy, we add firewalls, security measures, and patch up vulnerabilities so this doesn’t happen again.
2021-01-01
5. You Breathe Again
Your site’s back. It’s better, faster, safer—and you can finally move on with your day (or your launch, campaign, or wine night).
Things Our Clients Have Actually Said
Let’s Unf*ck It
The longer it’s broken, the more business you lose.
We’ll fix your website before your inbox fills with angry emails.
Whether your site has been f*cked for years or you're mid-meltdown, hit us up.
We're built for emergencies.